In Defence of Allison Bench ie. Shut The Fuck Up You Pathetic, Whiny Little Trolls

Allison Bench just came out with an article for the Winnipeg Free Press. And wow, it was the most divisive, contentious,  and frankly controversial article I've read in some time. What was it on? Well, it's kind of hard to explain how insanely polemic this subject matter is on, but I'll just cut right to the chase.

SHE TALKS ABOUT PLACES SHE LIKES IN OSBORNE VILLAGE!!!

The fucking arrogant nerve of this girl. Fuck this girl! Saying she likes shit... what an entitled bitch!

"I just want to say something nice about Winnipeg, is that so wrong?" Survey says... Yes!

Oh wait, those aren't my feelings. No, sorry, those are the feelings of the cousin-fucking dipshits who populate the Winnipeg Free Press comment section!

These grumbling troglodytes with sticks so far up their asses they can taste what type of soil was used, decided to shit all over the pettiest, most inane bullshit I've ever seen.

Now I, unlike these festering boils of a pig's ass, am not a complete moron. I know Internet commenters are a veritable landmine of asshole-ishness and douchebaggery, and are essentially the scum of the earth. But the difference between a bunch of people around the world telling Rebecca Black to go kill herself and this comment section, is the implied audience. These are Winnipeggers, bitching about a Winnipegger, who likes Winnipeg. I've heard of self-hating Jews, but this...

Are these really that contemptible? Let's see, this first comment from "happyasaclam."

Ms. Allison Bench...let me guess...you're writing this article from the comforts of your home...in Vancouver and are getting it confused with Gas Town...

What the fuck? This internet detective sure puts Poirot to fucking shame. I suppose he got Anonymous to figure this mystery out. What was the big giveaway? The picture of Allison literally standing on Osborne Street? I guess all those zero seconds of research was far too daunting for this clever asshole. I bet he can tell you whose really behind 9/11 too.

Someone is wrong on the Internet!

There's also:

i suspect that a lot of posters on here are young,untraveled and convinced that the "village" is our version of the sidewalk cafes of paris,soho,or the east village in new york......and i doubt that many of the squeegee/ex-punk/skater/panhandlers that frequent the area ans view the alleys as bathrooms will ever know the difference....

Yes, fuck this girl for saying Osborne Village is cool. It's not Paris or New York people! So you can't enjoy it! What a condescending shit-stain of a human being.

I can just picture this guy's kid coming up to him, trying to show him how well he's done at his piano lessons, or playing guitar, and this guy going "Well, it's not The Beatles! You ever heard Strawberry Fields Forever?! You are not my son you Philistine piece of shit."

And wow, panhandlers won't know the difference between Winnipeg and New York. Really? You're shitting on homeless people for being unrefined? The balls on this guy.

Ugh, New York panhandlers are just SO much more adept at their... ahem *craft.*

Finally, this gem:

Into the Music isn't in Osborne anymore. And how could she not mention Spicy Noodle House? Or talk about some of the other places that used to be in Osborne (i.e. Divine, Movie Village, Fair Trade Florist)? Too bad.

This dumb motherfucker was so far up his ass that he didn't even realize his second complaint completely negated his first! He complains that Into The Music (which was accidentally put instead of Music Trader and subsequently changed) isn't actually in Osborne Village anymore. But then he whines about how she doesn't mention places that used to be in the Village. YOU JUST BITCHED ABOUT HER MENTIONING INTO THE MUSIC! Do these people not read the bile that exudes out of them? This is the type of guy who walks into the same desk every day and blames the desk. He just can't process too many thoughts at the same time, or his tiny head will explode.

Whatever, it's not any of these are overly hateful, I saw a few comments were reported as abusive before I could see them. I just think it's so disheartening to see the trivial bullshit that these comments focus on. Honestly, if they were bitching about it being a badly written piece (which I would disagree with, but that's beside the point) then I'd be less angry because at least you could potentially defend your position.

But this insignificant shallow tripe is the just so fucking pathetic. Sadly, it makes me happy I decided to major in Public Relations instead of Journalism so I don't have to deal with this type of frivolous bullshit.

Happy Reading Week!