Monday, October 29, 2012

Check out this blog: Skeptikai

You should go to Skeptikai!


The blog describes itself as "Science, psych, sex, and Japan," from the perspective of a blogger in Japan. I'd say its about a variety of topics that anyone would find interesting, and doesn't really limit itself to just those (unless you count science as a veeerrry broad topic).

Sample articles like the Top 10 Safest and Most Dangerous Countries in the World, and Is Outing an Internet Troll Going Too Far? are good examples of the kinds of topics that he touches on, and there are a bunch of comments to facilitate a nice discussion.

Give it a read.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Tebowing: Because Nothing's More Important Than the Almighty Dollar

Tim Tebow has decided to trademark his signature pose known as Tebowing. I think this is really great news for him, because it means a few things:

"Fuck, I glued my hand to my head again. Ah, I'm sure no one will notice..."

1) He has acknowledged his future lies far more in taking money from people with "Tebow" pencils, "Tebow" bracelets and other "Tebow" bullshit that his mindless followers will surely buy, than with playing any meaningful football and earning his fortune through that. And good for him.

Now you might be looking at his stats, and saying "now hold on there Alan Jazeera. He has the highest completion percentage of his career, AND his best passing rating ever!" And you would technically be right. But that is because he has throw all of three (3) passes, two (2) of which were caught. Hurray! He's improving!

Now with his mind on to trademarking his imaging and selling it, and off of football, he can focus on the things that really matter: faith making money.

I wouldn't be surprised if an appearance on The Bachelor was in his future. They've had back-up quarterbacks before!

This was literally the most "action-y" pose I could find for him. He... he didn't play much.

2) He has accepted the path that god chose for him. Now this one probably says more about god than about Tebow. Apparently god was in Tebow's corner last year, and was helping him win games left and right. They were essentially miracles! If Jesus was a quarterback, he'd have been backing up Tebow, because man was he on fire.

And then he wasn't. Then he was just fired. Or I guess traded.

Traded to the godless, sinful town of New York City!

I assume Tebow's lack of playing time is god's punishment to Tebow for accepting to play for such heathens. But really it's all part of god's plan. His plan to start Tebow out as a savvy business mogul who sells shitty trinkets with his face and Tebow pose plastered all over them so he can amass a fortune.

For what purpose you might ask?

To live as a modern day king! To spread the word of god, of course!

"Good job, Billy! Just two more touchdowns and I'll let you into heaven."

Yes, once the money starts coming in you can rest assured that we will see Tebow much more than we would ever see him on Monday Night Football. Or even practice, probably.

3) The Almighty Dollar is true king.

Can you blame a guy for trying to make a buck? No. He's Tim Tebow, why shouldn't he make money off of "Tebowing?"

There's no reason to think he won't turn what is sure to be a very nice nest egg into something that truly helps all of mankind, just like Jesus would have wanted.

Or something like that.









Friday, October 12, 2012

To The Old Man Who Took All My Leg Room On The Bus


Look, old man. There are certain rules that we as citizens of this great fair city have to follow. Complaining about how long construction takes, acting like we are civilized while Saskatchewan is full of hicks, and loving whoever the Bombers' back-up quarterback is. But above all of these is not putting your knee across the halfway point of the seats on the bus.

Is this towel made of lead?! Man, my head hurts...

Perhaps you felt entitled to it. Yes, you were seated before I had arrived, and were probably lavishing in the glorious amount of room your legs were free to roam in. If you could stretch out your calves, I'm sure you would have. But when I sat down beside you, you should have politely scrunched your legs together ever so slightly, so that my legs could fit in that area as well.

Instead, as you refused to budge your knobby, khaki-panted knees from their position, I was forced to have just one leg in front of me, and the other leg way out in the aisle, blocking the path for people behind us who wanted to exit. The look that woman gave me when she had to brush by outstretched leg... that should have been directed at you!

"Smile, sir. No, smile. Smile! S-M-I-L-E! Ah, screw it."
And then you have the gall to press your legs out even more, pressing your knee against mine. That is when enough was enough, and I held my knee firmly in place, not giving up a single inch. Some may call it "petty", but I call it "kind of petty."

As I was getting my phone out to take a picture of the amount of leg room that you were taking up, that is when you decided to ring the bell and stand up to get off the bus.

"Sorry," he said.

"No problem," I replied.

Damn that polite old man. All my frustration melted away as he shuffled past me, avoiding bumping into me or stepping on my feet. As he stepped gracefully from the bus and headed off to his destination, I figured he probably just didn't realize how much room he had been taking. Or maybe his knees hurt. Or maybe he just figured he'd earned the space as opposed to some young punk like me. All appropriate responses to the situation.

Bless you, old man. Let's not forget to respect the elderly, in all their glory, knobby knees or otherwise. They certainly deserve it.

Who you callin' old? I could still kick your ass, son...