To The Old Man Who Took All My Leg Room On The Bus

Look, old man. There are certain rules that we as citizens of this great fair city have to follow. Complaining about how long construction takes, acting like we are civilized while Saskatchewan is full of hicks, and loving whoever the Bombers' back-up quarterback is. But above all of these is not putting your knee across the halfway point of the seats on the bus.

Is this towel made of lead?! Man, my head hurts...

Perhaps you felt entitled to it. Yes, you were seated before I had arrived, and were probably lavishing in the glorious amount of room your legs were free to roam in. If you could stretch out your calves, I'm sure you would have. But when I sat down beside you, you should have politely scrunched your legs together ever so slightly, so that my legs could fit in that area as well.

Instead, as you refused to budge your knobby, khaki-panted knees from their position, I was forced to have just one leg in front of me, and the other leg way out in the aisle, blocking the path for people behind us who wanted to exit. The look that woman gave me when she had to brush by outstretched leg... that should have been directed at you!

"Smile, sir. No, smile. Smile! S-M-I-L-E! Ah, screw it."

And then you have the gall to press your legs out even more, pressing your knee against mine. That is when enough was enough, and I held my knee firmly in place, not giving up a single inch. Some may call it "petty", but I call it "kind of petty."

As I was getting my phone out to take a picture of the amount of leg room that you were taking up, that is when you decided to ring the bell and stand up to get off the bus.

"Sorry," he said.

"No problem," I replied.

Damn that polite old man. All my frustration melted away as he shuffled past me, avoiding bumping into me or stepping on my feet. As he stepped gracefully from the bus and headed off to his destination, I figured he probably just didn't realize how much room he had been taking. Or maybe his knees hurt. Or maybe he just figured he'd earned the space as opposed to some young punk like me. All appropriate responses to the situation.

Bless you, old man. Let's not forget to respect the elderly, in all their glory, knobby knees or otherwise. They certainly deserve it.

Who you callin' old? I could still kick your ass, son...